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Blink by ~veronicavoltage:iconveronicavoltage:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Haiku & Eastern


I look out the window
A swingset rusted by the rain
My little girl gone.
©2003-2009 ~veronicavoltage
:iconveronicavoltage:

Author's Comments

people always interpret this differently, i like how it evokes different perspecitives.

Comments


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:iconartisan001:
~artisan001 Jun 10, 2003, 2:28:50 PM
debris of time,
spread at its feet,
its metal frame,
looks bent and cheap,
and yet it seems,
to bring to me,
some long lost,
childhood memories.
the little girl,
upon the swing,
though long gone,
still softly clings,
to the place,
where she once played,
her smile,
still bright,
amongst decay

you have some really nice work here..good poetic style...here i wrote you a little responsive poem.. thanks for commenting on my pic

Art



--
Firing blanks
Just for Photography
Somewhat Autistic
Artistic hipocracy
:iconphoenixashes:
~PhoenixAshes Nov 19, 2003, 9:33:16 AM
The little girl is really your inner child, I declare! And anyone who disagrees will answer to me! *stands steadyfastly*

Honestly, though. Beautiful. Concise. I love ambiguously written pieces like I love Sour Patch Kids: It's wonderful and delicious, but you can only take so much until it burns your tongue and nothing tastes good.
:iconveronicavoltage:
~veronicavoltage Nov 19, 2003, 10:05:49 AM
That was honestly *the* best comment I've ever received on any of my pieces. And as cliche as it always sounds, I really appreciate the feedback.
:iconphoenixashes:
~PhoenixAshes Nov 19, 2003, 6:21:34 PM
Haha, thank you. And you're welcome. :)

Screw love. Feedback is what makes the world go 'round.
:iconorangetot:
~orangetot Nov 20, 2003, 8:36:56 AM
Short poems are hard to carry off as well as this. extremely poignant and great imagery all in 15 words. Very impressive - on my watch you go :)
Very nice title by the way, adds a lot more to it.

--
FIGHTY FIGHTY :aww:
:iconveronicavoltage:
~veronicavoltage Nov 20, 2003, 9:03:29 AM
I left this untitled for the longest time, it wasn't until about 3 years after I first wrote it that I came up with something. It's a good thing I'm patient.
:iconmandison:
~mandison Dec 2, 2003, 1:30:11 PM
*tears

Thank you.
:iconlivingbyair:
=livingbyair Feb 4, 2004, 2:45:38 PM
I look out the window
^when I think about looking through a window i picture myself or someone else just taking their attention away from matters at hand and just reflecting. this is what it's saying, that you're just looking through your subconscious for a while.

A swing set rusted by the rain
^rust shows the time that has elapsed, rain is the general ware and tare of life, and the swing set represents all your past. (swing set is two words)

My little girl gone.
^what once was is done and over.

Good title. :)
:iconveronicavoltage:
~veronicavoltage Feb 5, 2004, 8:25:27 AM
Thanks so much for your in depth comment. It's been so long since I've received something on any of my pieces.
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